How is your day going so far?
Some people are feeling a little turmoil on this US election day.
Some folks are feeling more than a little turmoil and are on their way to feeling stress, anxiety, worry, or panic.
And still others are even further activated, tipping all the way into Survival Mode in some form(s) or another.
This makes perfect sense.
An election, especially one so historically close in the polls, brings huge uncertainty for so many of us. And with uncertainty comes all kinds of emotion and stress reactions.
So whether it's inviting some Survival reactivity, or just lots of feelings, we have a couple of things that to share with you to make today, the next several days, or any day easier.
Starting at the more extreme end of the spectrum... SURVIVAL MODE
You're likely near or in a Survival State if:
You don't even know how you feel
You can't concentrate
You can't sit still or can't get up
You are eating unconsciously or not eating at all
Things seem too loud, too fast, too complicated
Nothing is going right
You want to just quit and run away, maybe for good
You want to yell at someone
You can't stop trying to find and fix "fires"
Your jaw is clenched
Your shoulders are up and tight
Your stomach is churning
Your arm pits are sweaty
If this is you today, here are 3 things to repeat again and again, all day(s):
1. Take stock of your body.
You don't have to relax your shoulders or your jaw, but notice that indeed you do possess shoulders and a jaw. What other body parts can you inventory? Can you wiggle your baby toe? Or, flex your glutes?
Any time you focus on noticing the parts of your body (especially if you lightly touch them as well), you will turn down your cortisol levels.
2. Extend your exhale.
Take a good strong, quick-ish inhale. Then slowly exhale, making your exhale take twice as long as your inhale. Breathe fully into the base of your belly, and then slowly exhale it all the way out. If you like to count, maybe breathe in for a count of 4, and then breathe out for a count of 8.
Repeat this breath ten times, and as often as you think to do so.
Every time you exhale longer than you inhale, you are cueing your nervous system to move out of Survival Mode.
3. Move slowly
When feeling this level of stress, the inclination is to move fast and rough. The idea, here, is to counter the stress by purposely slowing down. This is counter-intuitive, but highly effective. Getting up to go to the bathroom? Walk as slow as a tortoise, or as a monk on a walk in the woods. Grabbing your purse to head out the door? Switch on slo-mo and see how slowly you can do this everyday action.
Every time you purposely slow your movements, thoughts, or responses, you send messages of safety to your nervous system.
Next let's look at tools to use when things haven't reached a Survival level, but the stress is bringing on A DELUGE OF UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS
You know you're in an (uncomfortable) Emotional State when:
You have a long list of all the bad things that could happen or are happening
You want to talk to other people and see if they share your concerns
You keep reading the news or looking for more information
You keep asking "What are we going to do?"
You keep wondering "Are we (ever) going to be okay?"
You keep lamenting that "Things are always so stressful."
Your face is scrunched up
You're crying (or trying not to cry)
Your posture is droopy
If this is you today, here are 3 things to repeat again and again, all day(s).
1. Tell the story.
Why are you upset? Give yourself permission to answer this in lengthy detail. Open up a journal page or a fresh wordprocessing doc, and pour the words onto the page. Don't hold back or try to be fair or accurate. Give yourself fully over to the "drama" of how you feel and why.
Every time we give ourselves permission to be upset, we release some of the upset.
2. Name the feelings.
Thinking back over your story, or tuning in to yourself at any point during the day, what actual feelings are you feeling? See if you can name at least three current feelings using this list. Get specific, and don't try to talk yourself into feelings you aren't actually experiencing.
Every time we specifically name the emotions we're feeling, we decrease their potency.
3. Add some connection.
Get some physical touch. Put your own hand on your heart, the nape of the neck, or your forehead. Feel the impact of that tender contact. If you have a loved-one that will just hug you for a minute or two, go ahead and ask them for just that. They need not do anything other than boringly stand there and hug.
Get in touch with how your feelings show up in your body. Tune into the emotions you named, and notice which one is currently biggest. And then see, is it doing something in your body? Bringing heat, prickliness, tension, cold, tingles, throbs? Give into noticing the sensations without trying to change them. Then track them for a couple minutes.
Say something touching to yourself. What are some kind and understanding words you would like to hear? Go ahead and say them to yourself. Despite the awkwardness, say these loving words out loud to yourself, using your own name, and notice how that feels.
Every time we offer ourself connection around our feelings they soften and lift.
Not every day is a crucial election day, but most days bring in some Survival reactivity and every day invites a lot of feelings. These tools we're sharing with you are for every day use! And, as a reminder...
When we're facing a particularly challenging day or week or month, we definitely want to use our tools more frequently and more intentionally.
We're thinking of you, today and every day.
And sending you so much love,
Natalie and Nathan
