Natalie here.
The other day I saved myself big money and several days of mental torture. Let me tell you how it happened.
Our renter wrote to ask me if she could stay one month longer than her lease.
I said she could stay two weeks longer but no more because the new renter was moving in.
She got upset! She pointed out that her lease said she had the option of staying on and now she’d have to scramble.
In my past I would consider this an emergency because:
1. Conflict
2. She was right. I was wrong.
3. Someone was mad at me.
4. Money is involved.
Also in my past I would have thrown my phone down like a hot potato and “ignored the message” but really I would:
1. Run an incessant monologue obsessively defending myself
2. When that didn’t work I’d find ways for the renter to be a bad person. (She did complain about the internet that one time…)
3. Feel queasy.
4. Hate other things in my life because now everything sucks.
5. Very quickly write her back to offer her self-mutilating apologies and offer her to stay for free.
BUT I DIDN'T DO THAT
Instead I worked the three-part system that we teach in Emotional Sovereignty School:
1. I recognized I was in Survival mode, so I put the phone down and used my favorite mix of tools to flush out the stress hormones and rejoin my body.
2. I told myself the story of what happened and found all the feelings embedded within. Then I used my favorite mix of tools to metabolize those feelings and pump up oxytocin.
3. I pulled out the lease, gathered the facts and got clear about what I wanted and needed.
Then, sturdy as a beautiful river boulder I wrote:
"You’re right, I made an assumption about your departure date. That’s my fault. I’d still like to offer you the extra two weeks if you’d like."
And she wrote: "Thanks!"
I even told her the cost and she Venmo’d forthwith.
Voilà!
The old unhelpful pattern still lives within me. But now I have something to replace it with.
The rewards of less mental chatter and angst?
Two weeks of rent money 💵
Hours (days?) of my time back ⌚️
Calm in my body 🕊️
Self-respect 💪
Peace of mind 😎
Is this a life-changing moment by itself? Maybe not. But I assure you that when you add up a string of these moments, like pearls on a necklace, IT IS A WHOLE NEW WORLD.
What rewards might you receive if you had a protocol for your anxious or stressful moments?
Would you:
Ask for that raise? 💵 💵 💵
Have time for that _________ (jigsaw puzzle, art project, side-business, exercise, fun)? ⌚️ ⌚️ ⌚️
Get to enjoy your hard-earned ________ (weekend, vacation, evening, meal, bath)? 🕊️ 🕊️ 🕊️
Have higher confidence and self-esteem? 💪 💪 💪
Room to _________ (think, write, muse, ponder, dream)? 😎 😎 😎
Let us help you reap the rewards of a relaxed nervous system.
You don't have to figure this out on your own.
In fact we'd like to gift you a complimentary Feel Better Already Strategy session* to get you started on your new rewarding life!
* Open to anyone who has not received a Feel Better session already!
You're not too late. Brain-change can happen at any age.
Besides, can you afford to wait?
Your rewarding life awaits!
Love,
Natalie (and Nathan)