You know those things on your to-do list that you really should do? (Not in a self-flagelating, shamey, shoulding way... but) The things that would really impact your life in a meaningful way, but you still don't do them?
Can you think of your actual things...?
We all have those things!
And we don't do those things!
Even when we really need to do them, and do them right now.
Why don't we do the important things?
Here's the biggest reason why:
The vast majority of us got wired to react to emotion with our Survival System.
How did that happen?
Well, we were little. Just tumbling about in our little bodies with our not-yet-completely developed Emotional System. And we had some feelings. We couldn't manage those on our own because we didn't have that aforementioned Emotional System built-out yet.
So, naturally, we went to our caregivers and they did the best they could. But for whatever reason it just wasn't quite enough of what we needed most.
They were busy.
Or stressed-out.
Or mad.
Or not there.
Or well-meaning, but ineffectual.
We were left with the feelings, instead of being given ways to process and offload them. So our Survival System came to our "rescue" to help us get past emotional moments we couldn't process. That happened enough times over the course of our early years that we got trained (among other things) to:
Fight our feelings
Flee from our feelings
Freeze-up and wait for our feelings to pass
Use Appease to ignore our feelings and focus on others
Fast-forward several years, and when we see that task on our to-do list that invites some feelings, what happens? Our Survival System kicks into hyperdrive again and we:
Find something to rail against – our partners, our kids, the checkout clerk, the slow driver etc. (FIGHT)
Do anything but the stressful task – shop, drink, clean out the silverware drawer, etc. (FLIGHT)
Power off – blank out, numb out, sleep more, etc. (FREEZE)
Say Yes to other things when we mean No – volunteer for something, drive someone somewhere, host something, etc. (APPEASE)
We're too busy being in Survival Mode to circle back to the list and do the hard or stressful thing that we actually want to be doing.
Every single thing we offer, teach, and do here at the Center for Emotional Education is geared toward undoing that programming.
Survival reactivity happens to us all! It's normal and we need it to actually survive. But we don't need it managing our to-do lists, our goals, or our feelings!
At the Center, we're interested in rebuilding nervous systems so that we can come up against emotion, work with it, and then keep right on going, doing all the tasks that build and nurture the life we want for ourselves.
We have 3 pathways one can follow:
Supporting Self
Supporting Others
Supporting Partnership
Which path is right for you right now?
This Friday we're offering Building the Entrepreneurial Nervous System which is an entry point to both the Supporting Self and Supporting Others pathways.
This free workshop is designed for entrepreneurs who know which tasks will grow their business, but their nervous systems won't let them do those tasks.
A business is only as strong as the nervous system(s) behind it.
Let's face it, the Survival System is great at tiger attacks but shitty at business (and everything else that's important).
Whether you're an entrepreneur or not, you deserve a nervous system that works for you, not against you.
Want to join us? You can use the button below to sign up.
Cheering you on as always!
Much love,
Natalie & Nathan