Hey there!
How's it going in your world?
Want to take a little break and play a game? It's called:
Which Survival Reaction is Best?
Let's introduce the players...
In the orange trunks we have..... Survival Fight!
This reaction is a brawler! When our nervous system instantaneously selects this reaction to fend off a predator we can expect all the blood to rush to our big, powerful, fighting muscles. From this mode we have super-human strength and off-the-charts bravery. We plunge into battle swinging mightily!
In the aquamarine trunks we have... Survival Flight!
This reaction is a sprinter! When our nervous system instantaneously selects this reaction to fend off a predator we can expect all the blood to rush to our thighs and quads, giving them the energy they need to get us out of there fast! From this mode we are lightning-quick and can escape easily. We dash away from danger without any hesitation!
In the silver trunks we have... Survival Freeze!
This reaction is a statue! When our nervous system instantaneously selects this reaction to fend off a predator we can expect all the blood to rush away from our extremities. From this mode we can stay super still and quiet and may even appear dead. We remain unnoticed by hungry predators and live to see another day!
And in the purple trunks we have... Survival Appease!
Coming in later in the evolutionary race, this reaction is a charmer! When our nervous system instantaneously selects this reaction to fend off a predator we can expect all the blood to rush either toward our spine – giving us that super-cool laid-back vibe, or to the chest – giving us that engaged and helpful vibe! From this mode we are poised to self-sacrifice. We may give up an arm, a leg, or our vital supplies in order to momentarily please a predator, but at least we don't die!
So... which one will win against the predator??
Well... that's actually something our nervous system decides for us in less than two-milliseconds! The human design is brilliant and our Survival System makes the very best calculation for staying alive given the type of predator, the context, and our current physical abilities and energy reserves. We don't even have time to think about it.
Amazing right?
But... which one wins at life?
Well... each of these reactions has their own advantage in a life-or-death situation. They're all winners. But then it comes to actually living and not just surviving?
They're all losers.
Big time losers.
When we live from Survival Fight and meet regular-life challenges from this mode, we are at risk of becoming verbally and physically violent, wanting to or actually hurting loved ones, and perhaps getting in trouble for violence.
When we live from Survival Flight and meet regular-life challenges from this mode, we are at risk of physical avoidance, emotional distance, and chemical and other addictions (like exercise, or sex).
When we live from Survival Freeze and meet regular-life challenges from this mode, we are at risk of “failing to launch”, physical debilitation, and depression, etc.
When we live from Survival Appease and meet regular-life challenges from this mode, we are at risk of being misused, possibly abused, burnout, fatigue and loss of self.
A common mistake is when we identify ourselves using a survival reaction (and suffering from adverse ramifications of that reaction), and we decide to quit reacting that way, cold turkey. But if we don't get any support to move out of survival mode, we accidentally just pivot to a different survival reaction.
And that doesn't work to have a better life because all survival reactions are bad at living.
So if you want to place a bet on a winner, place it on yourself, and take the steps to get out of survival mode, every time it happens.
- drink some water
- have a snack
- take time and move slowly
- lengthen your exhales
- get in touch with your body
There are about 56,890,567 strategies for getting out of survival mode. If you want to get some personal support and learn some of them, just respond to this letter and we'll help you out.
Much love,
Natalie and Nathan