We hope this finds you in a moment of peace.
Natalie here, with story time once again... :)
When I was a kid I spent every Friday night at my grandma's house. It was about as cozy and wholesome as a kid could wish for. Heaven for me.
But, occasionally, I got invited to a friend's house for a sleepover.
Some kids dreamed about big, fun things, like sleeping outside in a tent, or going to the drive-in, maybe a movie marathon.
Me? My dream was simple.
I hoped to:
– not be too homesick
– not stay up too late (too scary)
– not spend too much time with my friend's dad (because he seemed scary, too)
Little Natalie - hoping for "not-too-scary"
Nathan's sleepover dream was simple too.
Nathan hoped to:
– avoid the parents unless they weren't too scary
– avoid having to eat foods N didn't like
– be able to sleep through the night
Little Nathan "hoping for not-too-scary" too
If we could go back, we would have helped our safety-craving selves to dream bigger.
It's pretty hard to dream, when you're busy worrying, isn't it?
Uncomfortable feelings, like anxiety, worry, panic, insecurity, shyness, despair, hopelessness, frustration, grief, and powerlessness, take up all of our time, energy, and focus. It's difficult to even function when feelings like this are filling our body with adrenaline and cortisol and sending us into Survival Mode al the time.
When kids are lucky enough to not feel tons of anxiety at a slumber party, they can dream big and play big.
Mega-forts!
Slip-n-slide obstacle courses!
Talent shows!
If you too dreamed of just feeling not-anxious, not-scared, not-powerless – what would your dream be if you could get beyond that?
Maybe the next level is to go camping with confidence. Or to get the lead role in a play. Or charge top-dollar for your services. Isn’t it interesting how the more you want — even if you don’t tell anyone else — the more uncomfortable it can start to feel?
For example, right now we are planning an extravagant 20-year anniversary party. We've rented out an entire lakeside lodge. We're going to spend a bunch of money. We will be the center of attention for three days straight.
If 7-year-old Natalie and Nathan saw this, they would run under a bed to hide! But if you know what you want, and you can gracefully handle the feelings around it – we say go ahead and dream/live extravagantly.
We now have successful, relaxed nervous systems that allow us massive benefits in life. For one, we can attend the biggest sleepover of our lives (our party!) and we're not full of worry about whether or not we'll be able to sleep.
Not many people talk about this because mental health is generally taboo. Which is why we've made this our focus for the last almost 17 years of supporting people in 1:1 work, classes, trainings, and luxury retreats.
Whether it’s successfully going on a week-long vacation with your co-parent, prioritizing your needs and taking a bath instead of making dinner, or just taking a connective, bonding walk with your lover – our mission is to show people that you can have that.
You can have the life you want without all the discomfort you don't want.
So, let us ask you this question:
“If you were suddenly at ease in your nervous system, what would you do? What would YOUR dream life look like?”
We call this the magic wand scenario. Wave your magic wand!
Imagine what you would do if your stress and anxiety didn't get in the way. What would it look like for you?
Feel better in your body?
Make more money?
Sing a solo?
Be who you really are?
Give it a moment. Maybe put your hand on your heart as you ponder, this will allow your nervous system to relax long enough to even think of what you might want.
And then instead of saying, “Well, it's too late for me. I'm just weird/broken/sensitive.”
Ask yourself THIS question:
"What would it take to make that happen?"
For us, the answer was to learn how emotion works in the brain, to gather tools and information, and have the support necessary to put it all into practice.
We wanted to grow. We wanted to be able to enjoy friends and family, think clearly, act courageously, make more money, have a greater impact, and be at ease in our bodies and hearts too.
We now carry "Emotional Sovereignty" passports that mean we can go anywhere. Whether it's to the car dealership to negotiate a better deal, to the coffee shop to meet a new and interesting friend, or to the US Virgin Islands to host our next retreat for our beloved community.
We can now go anywhere and do anything.
FeatherLeaf Inn - the location of this year's Real-Life Magic Retreat
We never would have imagined this when we were young. What a tragedy it would have been if our dreams had stayed the same as our 7-year-old selves!
That small dream of being able to feel less scared? We wish we could go back in time and take our little selves into our arms and laps, and give them all the tools and support we now have, so that they could “DREAM BIGGER!!”
Us reassuring our younger selves that dreaming big is safe for us...
One of our clients had the dream of building a nervous system that allowed her to process her feelings around scarcity, and thus empower her to say No to measly, pesky contracts. She wanted to make room for her dreams of meaningful, BIG contracts. Just two years later she now regularly lands multi-million dollar contracts and doesn't even look at the smaller, less interesting stuff.
What seems unreachable now can seem ordinary later – if you have the tools and use them.
What was your dream when you were a kid?
What’s your dream now?
DREAM BIG. What's the BIGGEST version of yourself that you can imagine.
Comment below and let us know!
Love,
Natalie and Nathan
You May be New to the Center for Emotional Education
Here's what you can do next:
Learn more about our upcoming program, Emotional Sovereignty School
Or… book yourself a Complimentary “Feel Better Already” Strategy Session